Flawed Memories
by Rose14
Summary: Angel and Connor attempt to get to know each other when Connor invites himself to spend the summer with his dad.
1. Chapter 1

**The Ceiling**

**Author's Note: Intro to a new story I'm starting, I love Connor, and I am going to write a little fanfic about him. This is just a little introduction and the first chapter should be up soon. I want to explore a relationship that Angel and Connor should be able to have, so I am assuming the team managed to win that last battle and ignoring the comic book series. I'm not a 100% sure where I am going with this, but let's find out together, lol.**

Connor liked to stare at the ceiling sometimes. He knew that if could count tiles for long enough, he might be able to forget, if only for awhile. It made it easier to forget the last time he saw Cordy, his last day in Quortoth, Holtz's dead body, and the image of Angel's face as he dropped deeper and deeper into the ocean. Connor hated these memories. They screamed failure to him at every turn. Angel had given him a new family and a new chance, but the old Connor liked to pop up at odd moments and confusion would take over. When he saw a girl that looked like Cordy, Fred, or even Faith he would be taken back to a place where his own thoughts were the enemy. Connor was now able to recognize his past insanity, and new that he was on a slippery slope. One mistake and maybe he would attempt to blow up his new friends or new family, which is why he had spent Christmas alone this year despite the calls from his fake parents and fake sisters. The lie was too hard to believe now that the memories of his past life were more developed. It was like staring into the face of a life that could never fully be his. He was destined to be a killer, whether he wanted to be or not. Prophecies had proven that.

The fact was Connor needed to get to know Angel and understand the life that was taken from him by Holtz. He needed to know who he could have been before he could ever accept who he was. He was positive that Angel loved him in some way, if his deal with Wolfram and Hart was any indication, but Connor needed more than that. In his old life hate had blinded him, but that was no longer the case. He couldn't say he loved Angel in return but he recognized that Angel loved him, which is much more than the old Connor, who could only see Angelus's hate. He had made a plan, after Angel had survived the battle that Connor had helped at despite his orders to flee. Connor would spend this summer with his father, his real father. This was his chance to understand everything, his kidnapping and his mother Darla, who had been hidden from him for too long. Maybe then he could stop hating and fearing himself. He could stop counting tiles and forgetting. He could live.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Hyperion**

The Hyperion looked almost exactly how Connor remembered it as he dropped his duffel bag to the lobby floor.

"Hello?" he called out while examining his slightly dusty surroundings.

Apparently Angel had been avoiding cleaning since his move back from the plush Wolfram and Hart accommodations. Connor could understand that if his dorm room was any evidence to his own lack of housekeeping skills.

He climbed the stairs and decided to check the place out, starting with his old room. As he walked in he was hit with a wave of memories involving Game boys, sandwiches, and tazers. He missed Fred a lot now that he could remember her clearly.

He continued down the to the apartment type room that Angel had lived in the last time he was there. Inside, he could tell Angel had been there recently by the smell and ived in appearance of the place. He decided that everyone must be out doing something and went back down to the lobby to wait for Angel and whoever else was with him.

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"Connor?!" Connor awoke to his name being shouted and saw his dad, Gunn, the blue demon formerly known as Fred, and Spike all staring at him.

"What are you doing here? Are you alright? Is there a problem with your family?"

Connor attempted to shake his head clear. He must have fallen asleep on an extremely uncomfortable couch while waiting for Angel to return.

"I'm cool. I just didn't have any plans for the summer so I thought I'd chill with you for awhile." Connor smiled at Angel, faking innocent like he didn't know his dad was about to have a meltdown. Most parents would be happy to have their kid home for the summer…

"What? Why? I really don't think that's a good idea Connor… You could get hurt, and the whole point of this arrangement was to keep you safe not throw you back into the middle of danger…"

Connor put on his sad face. He already knew how he was going to play this one. Angel was actually very easy to convince compared to his other parents. But then again he never got to raise him so he hadn't learned how horrible children can be.

"Oh, well I guess if you don't want me here, I won't impose. I'll see you later. Bye Dad."

Connor knew that the Dad would do even if everything else failed. He slowly started to walk away.

"Wait Connor!"

Connor turned around and looked at Angel with his kicked puppy look on his face. He heard Spike snort but chose to ignore it.

"I guess you can stay for a week or two if you really want to. We could use someone to help us with answering the phone, and I would like to hear how everything is going at college." Angel smiled at him and Connor resisted the urge to do a victory dance. That was almost too easy.

Though he wasn't too happy about the phone thing….

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Two hour later Connor had moved into the room next to Angel. He decided to avoid the room he and Cordy had shared as well as the one from that fateful summer. He had nightmares too much as it was.

If Angel had noticed the room change, he hadn't mentioned it which Connor appreciated.

He walked down to the lobby and looked around. Spike was sitting at the counter staring at the phone, Gunn was cleaning a sword, and Illyria was apparently talking to a plant that Connor thought looked plastic. This was going to be a stellar summer.

Connor told Gunn he was going to get some food and invited him along but was cool when he declined. Connor wanted to check out some of his old stomping grounds. See if he could still kill the old way.

After having about five cheeseburgers from McDonald's, and killing about four vampires, Connor decided to was time to turn in for the evening.

He was not expecting a panicked Angel to be pacing the lobby on his return…

"Where have you been?! I have been worried sick! You are not allowed to leave the hotel alone at night, or during the day! You are officially grounded young man."

Connor stared at his dad in shock.

"Um I went to McDonald's…." Connor said feeling very confused.

"For four HOURS!!!"

Connor gulped, and he used to think his mom and dad were bad when they made his call if he wasn't going to be home by midnight. It was only ten thirty.

**Author's Note: Bah… Not sure how I feel about this but I have the next chapter all planned out and think it will be much improved. Thanks for reading!**


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